Lost baby

I wanted to write my blog yesterday, but the only thing I wanted to write about was not my story to tell. I couldn’t even think about writing anything else, so I decided to wait. This morning my daughter wrote her story on http://motherhoodjourneys.com/a-bad-day, so now I feel able to sit down and write too.

If you’ve been following my blog, you will know how thrilled I was to hear that I was going to have another Grandchild. Yesterday I received a text telling me that my daughter was bleeding, and when I phoned her she was sobbing. The fact that my child was hurting and was two hundred miles away was terrible to me, but I knew her partner was on his way home, and that he would comfort and care for her. I trust him implicitly, I know that he could be relied on to look after her, despite the fact that I’m sure he will be just as upset. This was a much wanted baby.

So, I came off the phone, having tried to say the right thing and probably not having succeeded, and I cried for my loss as well as theirs. I feel so sad that this little life has ended so soon, but grateful that if it had to happen it was early.

When I had my babies things were so different. These days pregnancy tests are easily available and very accurate. Back in the seventies you would wait until you had missed two periods before going to the doctor. I’m sure that more women had miscarriages than knew about it. You’d miss a period, then get a fairly heavy one, and just assume your body was messing about a bit. How many of those were actually early miscarriages? At least we were spared the disappointment and heartache.

So in a few days we have all gone from excitement and happiness to the other end of the scale. For a few days we were full of anticipation, and now we need to take time to think about our little lost baby, who was loved already, but sadly, not meant to be.

One day I’ll get another phone call to tell me of another pregnancy, but just now it’s our time to think about what has happened, and to send love to my daughter and her partner, and the three children they already have. 


6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Mich
    Mar 15, 2012 @ 12:26:45

    That gave me goosebumps, how very sad, happened to me once, many hugs to all of you. xxx


  2. motherscuffer
    Mar 15, 2012 @ 12:39:51

    Thanks Mum, this post is lovely. Today I hadn’t cried, until reading this, but I think I needed to. I am also glad it was early, it must be awful going to a 12 week scan and finding out xx


  3. Trudy Crew
    Mar 15, 2012 @ 14:36:52

    A few years ago Ryan and his partner Lou lost a baby at 10 weeks and although it had now been a planned pregnancy it was such a sadness to them and to us so I know the pain you are feeling. I send my love to Corinne and her partner and to you Jennie xxxx


    • elsieshufflebottom
      Mar 15, 2012 @ 20:25:05

      I’m sorry about Ryan and Lou’s baby, Trudy. Thanks for this, it’s amazing how after knowing about the baby for a very short time, it can mean so much, and be so upsetting when things go wrong. Corinne will have a scan next week, but we’re not expecting any good news. xx


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